In most parts of Africa and most especially Nigeria; it's is believed that when a man gets married to a woman, he is relieved of so many things he would naturally do on his own to survive in life.
A man who is married would no longer be expected the clean his own clothes, shoes, dishes and other personal things.
His newly married wife takes on the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, raising the kids while keeping the home and also work 8am to 5pm in a paid employment to support the husband financially.
Let us start by asking this, What is Marriage?
Marriage is defined as the Legally or Formally recognised union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship.
Wikipedia defined marriage as, a socially or ritually recognised union or legal contract between spouses that establish rights and obligations; between them and their children, and between them and the inlaws.
As a married woman by law, I never saw anywhere in the marriage contract legally written, which stated that a husband should only work professionally to earn income for the family, neither did I see a part that stated that a woman should work professionally to earn an income for the family yet cook, clean and raise the kids.
The practise in most homes, community and tribes in Nigeria in marriages, clearly showcase a husband being the slave master, while the wife is a slave who is expected to take orders from the slave master without questioning. The woman is seen as an inferior being to a man.
In some cases, a woman is not allowed to express her sexual or emotional concerns to her husband or anyone, for it is considered commanding and disrespectful for a woman to say such things.
The husband has a higher authority to leave or return into the home how and as he pleases. It is the duty of a respectful wife to inform her husband of all her decisions at all times, to ensure she has his permission on all things. A woman is not allowed to question her husband's decisions at any time.
She is not allow to speak more knowledgeably than her husband.
When a man decides to fix himself a meal in the absence or presence of his wife, the wife is expected to show gratitude to her husband for fixing his own meal, since it is a part of her duties in the home.
A married man does not do dishes, clean the home nor wash his own clothes. If he is seen or heard of doing this house chores, it is believed that his wife must have bewitched him using voodoo.
Once, I heard a man tell his wife he was protecting her by not helping her out in the home. He said if any of his family members should see him doing house chores, they would believe his wife had cast a spell on. Him.
In the cave men days, the husbands used to work in fields and farms to cater for their families, while their wives clean, cook and raise the kids.
A lot has changed since the cave men days, many men could no longer support the family alone due to economic crisis around the world and civilisation. The woman are now co-workers in the homes to ensure all financial obligations in the home are met. Yet many civilised, educated, young married men find it difficult to support their wives in cooking, cleaning and raising the kids, because they see it as a sign of weakness to help.
Let us help one another to build a safe, clean, and resourceful homes. Showing love isn't a sign of weakness, it is brave and selfless.
Do not see it as a competitive race for superiority, see it as a combination of effort towards success.
Written by,
Olayemi Jayeola
2015
A man who is married would no longer be expected the clean his own clothes, shoes, dishes and other personal things.
His newly married wife takes on the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, raising the kids while keeping the home and also work 8am to 5pm in a paid employment to support the husband financially.
Let us start by asking this, What is Marriage?
Marriage is defined as the Legally or Formally recognised union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship.
Wikipedia defined marriage as, a socially or ritually recognised union or legal contract between spouses that establish rights and obligations; between them and their children, and between them and the inlaws.
As a married woman by law, I never saw anywhere in the marriage contract legally written, which stated that a husband should only work professionally to earn income for the family, neither did I see a part that stated that a woman should work professionally to earn an income for the family yet cook, clean and raise the kids.
The practise in most homes, community and tribes in Nigeria in marriages, clearly showcase a husband being the slave master, while the wife is a slave who is expected to take orders from the slave master without questioning. The woman is seen as an inferior being to a man.
In some cases, a woman is not allowed to express her sexual or emotional concerns to her husband or anyone, for it is considered commanding and disrespectful for a woman to say such things.
The husband has a higher authority to leave or return into the home how and as he pleases. It is the duty of a respectful wife to inform her husband of all her decisions at all times, to ensure she has his permission on all things. A woman is not allowed to question her husband's decisions at any time.
She is not allow to speak more knowledgeably than her husband.
When a man decides to fix himself a meal in the absence or presence of his wife, the wife is expected to show gratitude to her husband for fixing his own meal, since it is a part of her duties in the home.
A married man does not do dishes, clean the home nor wash his own clothes. If he is seen or heard of doing this house chores, it is believed that his wife must have bewitched him using voodoo.
Once, I heard a man tell his wife he was protecting her by not helping her out in the home. He said if any of his family members should see him doing house chores, they would believe his wife had cast a spell on. Him.
In the cave men days, the husbands used to work in fields and farms to cater for their families, while their wives clean, cook and raise the kids.
A lot has changed since the cave men days, many men could no longer support the family alone due to economic crisis around the world and civilisation. The woman are now co-workers in the homes to ensure all financial obligations in the home are met. Yet many civilised, educated, young married men find it difficult to support their wives in cooking, cleaning and raising the kids, because they see it as a sign of weakness to help.
Let us help one another to build a safe, clean, and resourceful homes. Showing love isn't a sign of weakness, it is brave and selfless.
Do not see it as a competitive race for superiority, see it as a combination of effort towards success.
Written by,
Olayemi Jayeola
2015
1 comment:
I agree with some of your piece and some I don't. But of course men should be helpers to their wives and I think that's the position of all true religious people. Seleem...
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